Anxiety Therapy in Oakland
Find peace beyond the worry.
It feels impossible to turn off your brain.
Most days, you feel like you can’t get off the rollercoaster of anxiety. You might be having panic attacks and while it’s not debilitating yet, you think “this can’t keep happening.” Or maybe you’re exhausted and frustrated because it doesn’t take much to send you into a spiral of rumination and self-doubt.
A part of you blames yourself for the anxiety because you think you’re probably not doing enough to prevent it. If you could just get consistent and commit to the things you know are good for you like exercise, journaling, or meditation.
You feel guilty because your life is pretty good by most accounts, so you think: “why do I get so wound up when so many people have it much worse? If I could just be more grateful. If I could stop overloading my schedule. If I could stop worrying about what other people think of me. If I could stop comparing myself…”
Anxiety may be taking a toll on your relationship.
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You worry about being “too needy” but you want more closeness and intimacy than they do, and don’t know how to navigate it. You sometimes feel jealous witnessing their interactions with others or when you think about their past partners. A part of you continually scans the horizon for what could go wrong and tries to figure out how to get ahead of it.
You might trace some of this back to painful experiences in your history—you understand where it comes from but don’t know what to do about it in the present.
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There’s so much to juggle in your life right now. You sometimes come home in an irritable mood and end up snapping at your partner, though you didn’t mean to, and now you’re caught up in another fight. You’ve been told you can be overly-critical or controlling, which makes you feel indignant, completely justified in your concerns, and a little ashamed at the same time. You know it takes two to tango in any conflict. And, when you stop to reflect on your part, you see more clearly what’s happening for you. Stress gets taken out on your partner and contributes to more stress between you.
For your own well-being and the health of your relationship, you’re ready to lower the level of anxiety and overwhelm.
However anxiety is interfering in your life, it doesn’t have to stay that way.
How anxiety therapy works
What if you could manage anxiety with skill and feel more grounded inside?
I can teach you how to do just that.
Most of us were never taught what to do with anxiety or how to handle it effectively.
We strive to feel in control of it as we navigate the world around us. But oftentimes, it can feel as if anxiety is the one in charge. One moment, you may find yourself at war on the inside and at another, completely lost in anxious thought and feeling. But there’s another option:
Relief can come from intentionally shifting your relationship to anxiety.
Imagine you’re driving a car, and the passengers are your emotions that day: tired, angry, anxious. You can probably picture the havoc if you tried to stuff anxiety in the trunk or unconsciously allow it to take the wheel. And yet, that’s what many of us have learned to do automatically. By relating to anxiety differently, it can become just another passenger on the ride—one you can handle, whose story you know, and may even come to care about.
Anxiety is nature’s protector and part of being human, but there’s so much we can do to reduce it, bring it into a more manageable range, and improve our experience with it by changing our response to it. So how do you do this?
first
When anxiety is present, sometimes it’s very obvious. Other times, it can almost feel like a trance state we don’t know we’re in—absorbed by overthinking, staying busy, etc. So, the first step is getting really good at recognizing anxiety in the moment.
second
Next, we practice slowing down and soothing your nervous system using somatic mindfulness tools. From here, you’re regulated enough to investigate and explore.
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With IFS parts work, we can get underneath of the anxiety and tend to the source of the distress. All these steps allow you to move through your day and interact with others more easily, and make decisions wisely.
Anxiety therapy can help you:
Feel more internally secure
Improve communication about your emotions, needs, and boundaries
Experience more satisfying connection with your partner and loved ones
Relax the grip of perfectionism and your inner critic
Get restful sleep and regain focus at work
Feel more peace, joy, and aliveness in your life
Reduce anxiety, reclaim inner calm,
and revitalize connection.
FAQ
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A true spectrum of opinion exists about this in the field of therapy, but I will weigh in with my perspective.
There are different kinds of anxiety–from social nerves to panic attacks to phobias (like fear of leaving the house). And while there’s some overlap, each manifestation of anxiety likely necessitates a different treatment. For example, exposure therapy is well-known and effective for specific phobias. The techniques used for panic attacks will be unique from the ones you might call on to soothe yourself after a tense work meeting. When you start researching the types of therapy available for anxiety, you’ll find CBT, DBT, EMDR, IFS, ACT, and others. Pretty soon, you’re swimming in a pretty confusing alphabet soup. You’ll find research to demonstrate people having successful outcomes from a variety of approaches.
Regardless of the modality used, I believe many practitioners would agree on 2 things. The relationship with your therapist is central to success. And the treatment should ultimately be aimed at resolving core issues below the symptoms. That’s ultimately why I love using IFS as a primary approach. It affords symptom relief, takes you deep, and awakens inner capacities (and skills) you can use for the rest of your life as new challenges arise. -
No, taking medication will never be a requirement of engaging in anxiety therapy. Whether or not you pursue medication really depends on your personal needs and preferences. Prescribing medication is out of my scope of practice as a psychotherapist, but I will encourage you to meet with a psychiatrist if you are curious, and you can discuss your options. However, it’s totally welcome to talk in therapy about your thoughts, feelings, and choices regarding medication, and we can help you tune in to what you most want.
In my clinical experience, some people prioritize managing anxiety without medication, and it’s absolutely possible. For others, especially those suffering from severe anxiety, it can be helpful in lowering their level of distress, which allows them to explore and address underlying causes of anxiety. Whether you take medication or not, I never see it as a stand-alone cure. I hold it as one of many ways you can treat anxiety coupled with other skills, activities, inner resources, and potential behavioral adjustments.
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It’s totally understandable to feel hesitant if you’ve tried therapy before and didn’t get the results you hoped for. I’d recommend reflecting on what specifically didn’t work last time. Were there certain goals that weren’t addressed? Did the therapist’s style not align with your needs? Did you feel comfortable and connected with them?
What works for one person may not work for another. If traditional talk therapy didn’t work for you, there are other options like somatic therapy, IFS, or EMDR that may be a better fit for your specific needs. Finding a therapist you feel understood by and connected with is crucial. It’s also important to remember that therapy is a process, and it can take time to see meaningful changes.
Sometimes therapy alone isn’t enough, and combining it with other support systems (like support groups, practice with new tools, or even medication) can provide a more comprehensive approach to managing anxiety.
Ultimately, trying therapy again with a different perspective, a new therapist, or a fresh approach could lead to a much more positive experience. Your previous experiences can also serve as valuable insights to guide what you need moving forward.